New Victor Wembanyama 'abductions' block captures his UFO-like absurdity

Victor Wembanyama isn't here to play nice.

It probably should've been clear when he took home Olympic silver as a 20-year-old. Or maybe on those fateful nights he decided he just felt like swatting 10 shots in a single game. Or when he set the tone in a famously lackluster All-Star Game by winning the tip and rushing to dunk in Cade Cunningham's face six seconds later.

Many ingredients make up the ultra-competitive monster that is Victor Wembanyama, but subtlety isn't one of them. If you decide to tune into a random Spurs game on a Tuesday evening, the chances are you'll see something you've never seen before -- and it'll be done in emphatic fashion.

In his rookie year, I noticed Wembanyama's tendency to not only deny shots -- he blocked a preposterous 254 attempts that season -- but to humiliate opponents in doing so. It doesn't happen every game, and maybe not even once a week. But over time, it happened enough that I really started paying attention.

You see, sometimes it wasn't enough to send a shot to the floor or into the stands. Some attempts don't even deserve that level of respect. The Alien began experimenting with different ways to turn a block into a possession in a single, swift motion.

Sometimes it was pinning the shot to the backboard and suctioning it into his mitts. Other times, it was engulfing the ball and physically removing it from it's arc and into his body. When he was feeling especially possessive, he'd simply snatch the ball before it's even released and proceed the other way.

Wemby is hardly the first person to turn a shot into a disrespectful steal-block that screams gimme that, but he's certainly been doing it enough to warrant special attention. With that said, allow me to introduce: Victor Wembanyama's Abduction Blocks.

What makes up a Victor Wembanyama Abduction Block?

I'm glad you asked. Wemby's blocks are like a pack of Starburst -- they're all tasty in a way, but some are clearly better than others. Wemby's abductions are the cream of the crop, or the pinks and reds of the bunch, to keep up the metaphor. There are three criteria that must be met for a block to evolve into an abduction:

1. The block must be officially recorded in the game's box score.
2. Wemby must have prolonged hand-to-ball contact during the block.
3. Wemby must retain sole possession of the ball by the end of the shot.

Consideration is also made for factors such as:

Jumping required? Getting blocked is bad enough. Having your shot swatted when your defender doesn't even have to jump is another level.
Opponent embarrassment - Did the shooter get knocked down? Sheepishly call for a goaltend? Look around in a panic, wondering what just happened?
Gimme that - used to measure the level of disrespect on the steal motion

With this being an unofficial stat, the final judgment of what constitutes a legal abduction block will be in my hands -- and it's a responsibility I won't take lightly. After all, The Extraterrestrial had 14 abductions in his rookie year alone, and even though opposing teams are smartly avoiding him more and more, he's going to keep getting his.

With that said, you're cordially invited to watch all 24 of his unofficially official abductions so far at your leisure:

Listed officially at 7'4 but probably closer to 7'7, Victor will undoubtedly continue blocking shots at a historic pace. There's no question he'll tally dozens more abductions throughout what will be a Hall-of-Fame career, and we'll be there to honor every single one.