15 Times Coach Popovich Roasted Victims

Whether he retires soon or not, San Antonio Spurs coach Gregg Popovich has already created countless memories for fans to relive highlighted by five NBA championships.

On the flip side, he's probably also traumatized dozens of reporters, members of the press, and otherwise innocent people. Such is the Popovich experience -- if you come with an obvious question or even catch him on the wrong night with an answerable one, you might get roasted.

As a head coach that led his troops to postseason battles for over 20 straight years, the resulting stress undoubtedly often comes out in the form of sarcasm and snippy responses, and Popovich is already naturally sarcastic as it is.

As we enter what could be the final season or two of the winningest coach in NBA history, let's go back and remember some of Coach Popovich's greatest roasts off the court, which had to be whittled down quite a bit to get to 15.

1. "How the f___ you like us now?"

Victim: Team USA haters

As Team USA looked to win their fourth consecutive gold medal at the 2020 Olympics, something strange happened. From Kendrick Perkins and Skip Bayless to a writer named Joe Vardon from The Athletic, there seemed to be a segment of Americans rooting for the team to fail.

A common thread among those three and others who questioned the United States' ability to get it done was a dislike of Coach Popovich. While you can find out more from this post that I published the night Team USA claimed gold, it wouldn't be hard to find several examples of all three coming after Pop throughout the tournament on your own.

Of course, Popovich ended up leading his guys to gold, shutting up all the haters first on the court and then off the court in the locker room:

2. Coach Popovich uses Stephen Jackson's music video against him

Victim: Stephen Jackson

What Gregg Popovich has always done so brilliantly is be able to manage so many different personalities on his squad. Not everyone is going to be as easygoing as Tim Duncan, and Stephen Jackson was one of the biggest examples of a challenging temperament he had to deal with.

Still, even a furious Jackson couldn't stay mad when Popovich used a stroke of genius to settle him down while cracking everyone else up at practice.

"He puts on one of my rap videos. Everybody busted out laughing, dog."

3. "Just sit there and be quiet, for a change."

Victim: Sean Elliott

Although Gregg Popovich played a huge role in the Big Three having their jerseys retired in San Antonio, he didn't always have patience even at their ceremonies. During Tony Parker's jersey retirement in 2019, Pop showed Sean Elliott just how curmudgeonly he can be.

"He'll talk all damn night long," said Pop after Sean kicked off the night. "And everything he's going to say, we're all going to say it. So just sit there and be quiet, for a change."

4. "Timmy's 'special', so he had to have carrot cake."

Victim: Tim Duncan

Alright, so this one isn't really that much of a roast, but it's just too great of a story to leave off. At Tim Duncan's jersey retirement ceremony, Coach Popovich told the tale of taking his superstar some carrot cake once upon a time. Unfortunately for him, Tim got used to the ritual.

"I had to do this for 20 YEARS!" exclaimed Pop. "David and Bruce never bothered me that way. Sean didn't bother me that way. But Timmy's special, so he had to have carrot cake."

5. "Don't you just get two questions?"

Victim: Charles Barkley

Charles Barkley mostly does his commentary from the Inside the NBA studios, but the crew couldn't resist putting him in the line of fire once to interview Coach Popovich in-game. Coach Pop famously has hated the in-game interview, and he didn't let Barkley's limited sideline reporter experience keep him from being himself.

"That's the third question, isn't it?" responded Popovich. "Don't you just get two?" Sheepishly walking away, all Charles could do was say, "my bad."

6. "Nobody's happy."

Victim: David Aldridge

Poor David Aldridge. There are multiple clips of Coach Popovich being sarcastic or short with the long-time sports journalist. The most famous example was when Pop took exception to a simple use of the word "happy."

"Happy? Happy is not a word that we think about in a game. Think of something different. I don't know how to judge happy."

"We're in the middle of a contest. Nobody's happy," said Pop with a dead stare. For weeks afterward, many kept calling back to the nationally-televised moment with Popovich if they caught themselves saying the forbidden word.

7. "Are you gonna let me finish my statement or not?"

Victim: Joe Vardon (The Athletic)

One of the most uncomfortable moments on this list goes back to Coach Popovich's gold medal run last summer. I previously mentioned how Joe Vardon seemed to have an agenda against the legendary coach, and it all seemed to stem from this moment after an exhibition loss by Team USA.

The exchange goes on for quite a while, so I'll leave it to you to watch the clip to see what happened.

Sadly, that wasn't Joe's worst moment that summer.

It's probably best for Vardon that Coach Popovich is done with Team USA, because I'm sure both sides have had just about enough of each other by now.

8. "It's hard to appreciate or enjoy torture."

Victim: NBA Press

After a final-minute collapse in Game 6 of the 2013 NBA Finals, Coach Popovich understandably wasn't a fan of the pressure he was facing in Game 7. When asked about being able to appreciate the opportunity to still capture a title, he didn't hold back.

"It's torture," said Pop. "It's hard to appreciate or enjoy torture."

Coach Popovich has been torturing himself for over 26 seasons now, and he had four simple words for why: "Coaches are sick puppies."

Understandably, he was in top roasting form throughout the press conference after that devastating loss. You can watch the presser in full here.

9. "I think that's a great question. What was the question?"

Victim: NBA Press

As I just mentioned, that press conference before Game 7 of the 2013 NBA Finals saw Coach Popovich at his finest when it comes to roasting everyone in his path. When asked about the team's mindset, he came back with probably the most long-form sarcastic response he's ever had.

"How did your guys manage the last couple of days? What was the mindset like of your team?" asked a reporter.

"See, you know? He stayed up late for that one," said Pop. "He didn't just wing it and his boss sent him a little note. He had a list of about 10 questions and as the day went, he eliminated this one and this one, and you came up with that one. I think that's a great question. What was the question?"

The last part made the whole press room laugh, as you can see from the clip here.

10. "I'll forget your names, but I thought it would be polite to ask."

Victim: Random training camp guys

Coming in at number 10 is a three-for-one roast. While there is the occasional serious berating from Coach Pop (more of which you'll see soon), most of his best quips are when he's clearly joking. That was the case at a basketball camp sometime in his earlier years when he was running drills with some attendees.

After asking his volunteers for their names, he quickly expressed that he didn't really care.

11. "He called me Ray Romano."

Victim: James Borrego

When Coach Popovich set the all-time record for wins by an NBA head coach in the regular season, I took that opportunity to highlight just how well-respected he is by other coaches around the league. In this mega-thread on Twitter, I highlighted a quote from almost all 29 of them.

By far, everyone's favorite was the time Hornets' head coach James Borrego talked about his first season as an assistant under Pop.

"Gregg Popovich. A mentor, friend. Someone that believed in me. Grew me. Someone in my first year that didn't even know my name. Called me Ray Romano."

12. "How can you be that professional in a suit that looks like that?"

Victim: Craig Sager

One of Coach Popovich's favorite targets throughout his career was none other than Craig Sager. The long-time sports reporter and broadcaster became known for his flashy attire that included brightly-colored blazers and ensembles.

Everyone from Kevin Garnett to Popovich routinely light-heartedly made fun of Sager's fashion sense, and it always led to great on-camera moments.

After Sager passed away from acute myeloid leukemia in 2016, Popovich went out of his way to stay in touch with his family and make sure they were all ok as they dealt with the tragedy. Sager's daughter recently shared just how much of an impact Pop made in the family's healing.

13. "Nobody wants to put anybody else in danger. This guy's history is different."

"Victim": Zaza Pachulia

It's impossible to know for sure, but the odds are high that the Spurs would look very different today if it wasn't for Game 1 of the 2017 Western Conference Finals. San Antonio was on the verge of a convincing victory in the second half before repeated infractions by clumsy Warriors center, Zaza Pachulia, ultimately led to the injury that Kawhi Leonard and the Spurs would never recover from.

Naturally, Coach Popovich was livid after the game and didn't hold back when asked by reporters about the situation.

"This particular individual has a history with that kind of action," said Popovich. "This is crap."

It's safe to say the entire Spurs community is in full agreement.

14. "That was handled unprofessionally on a couple of different levels."

Victim: Marcus Morris

Continuing on a serious note, the shenanigans by Marcus Morris in the 2019 offseason led to many unhappy campers in San Antonio. The Spurs had traded Davis Bertans to free up the necessary space to sign the 6-8 forward only for him to change his mind and sign with New York.

As a result, the front office had to settle for Trey Lyles and were short a talented sharpshooter entering the season for no reason.

"They're pissed," said one general manager to The Athletic (subscription required) afterward.

"Let's just say that was an unfortunate situation that was handled unprofessionally on a couple of different levels," said Popovich. "We made that move to make the signing that we did and got blindsided."

If you weren't annoyed enough, Morris only lasted 43 games with the Knicks before he was traded to the LA Clippers.

15. Popovich Roasts Jayson Tatum's lack of defense

Victim: Jayson Tatum

Alright, I can't end on a serious one, so let's wrap it up with a friendly ribbing from Coach Popovich to a budding superstar in 2020. With USA Basketball looking to get back to glory, Pop noticed Jayson Tatum not giving the best effort on defense on a particular play while training.

"I wish I could be you," he told Tatum. "Then I could stand in the corner with my 7-foot-long arms down by my side and not move while players go past me!"

As Jackie MacMullan's piece said, though, Pop made sure Tatum didn't take his comment seriously. "I hope I haven't offended you," said Pop after assuring Tatum he could be the next Kawhi Leonard or Paul George. "Offended me?" Tatum replied. "That's a compliment!"

From innocent training camp attendees to stars like Duncan and Tatum, no one has been safe from Coach Popovich's burns. I'm pretty sure more names will be added to his list before his career is over.